I recently had an amazing scenario play out as a fantasy. I imagined that I had the honor of inviting Anthony Mackie, the actor who plays Captain America in the movies, to speak to the youths that I mentor on the South Side of Chicago. You can imagine how excited these kids were to meet Captain America in the flesh. They all wanted to touch his shield and many of them wore temporary tattoos of his shield on their faces.
After Mackie finished signing autographs and taking countless selfies, he finally took his seat on the stage. I looked at my kids and saw many of them holding their 5×7 cards in their hands. On those cards, they had written out questions they wanted to ask Mackie. “How did you achieve your version of the American Dream?” “Who was your role model in life and why?” “Does hard work pay off?” “What is it like to work in Hollywood and how did you feel when you landed the Captain America role?” And on.
After my introduction, I gave Mackie the microphone so he could impress these young men and women with words of wisdom. Instead, what he said stunned me. He stood up and said, “We’re lying to our kids. That’s a big problem in our community. We tell our kids if they do right and they make the good grades, and they go to the programs, they will become successful. If you work hard enough, your work will pay off, and that’s not true. Success is given. It’s not earned.”
Now, none of the above is true — he never came and spoke to my kids. The only thing true is what he said. I can only imagine if he said those words to my kids they would be baffled. They would sit in silence and wonder why Captain America was telling them to not bother trying at this thing called life.
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What a dangerous message to tell a child. It is true and a given that not everybody succeeds. But isn’t life about trying and giving it your all? Otherwise, sit in front of the TV and become a nobody.
One of the first lessons I teach my youth is that life is unfair. The other lesson is that nothing is promised to you. Michael Jordan didn’t get to where he is by sitting on his butt. Denzel Washington didn’t get to where he is by playing video games. My friend who passed the exam to become a police officer despite being a single mom to two boys didn’t get to where she is by hanging out on the corner.
Every single person that I know who made it made it because they took a chance on themselves. They took that step forward. Some of them were lucky and were in the right place at the right time or met someone who helped them along the way. But that luck only happened because they took that step forward.
Luck doesn’t come to those who sit.
I cannot think of a worse message to send our kids than Mackie’s. And what makes it worse is that he delivered this fatalistic image while carrying the imprimatur of Captain America. If he truly believes in those words that he spoke, maybe he out to rethink this role. Maybe he should give that role to someone who truly believes in America.
I will never stop preaching to my youth that they must give their all in life, that they must never give up, and when life knocks them down as it will they must get back up. I will never stop helping them develop the character to believe in themselves through the good and bad times. And I will never stop being that voice in their head that lets them know that other people believe in them and their potential. That’s how you make captains that lead America.
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